One reason receiving feedback is hard: I didn’t want you to see me mess up. And by you giving me that feedback, it means you noticed.
Has anyone else ever had this experience? This has been an emotion I have felt since I was a child. I hated to bring home a bad grade for fear my parents would be disappointed. I was nervous before tennis matches for fear I was disappointing my father. I tried to always make the right choices because I didn’t want to disappoint myself, but, I also didn’t want to disappoint the people I loved.
The times when people noticed- times when I am called out on a mistake or given feedback about a experience- those are the times that I truly see myself put an assertive effort into not allowing myself to err in that way moving forward. Maybe it is a bit because I’m embarrassed, maybe it feels like a bigger deal because someone noticed, or maybe it is because I have publically admitted to a mistake and publically challenged myself to do better in the future.
They discuss accountability partners for people setting goals, specifically those attempting to change habits. People who actively provide you with constructive and developmental feedback are kind of like accountability partners- they care so deeply for your success that they are willing to call you out when they do not see you moving in that direction. Those are the people who will continue to make you stronger. Those are the people you want to surround yourself with.
Do you have a developmental “accountability partner”?
Thanks Danielle for the post. I wish there were more who were willing to provide such genuine and concerned feedback.
I believe that to be a great leader, you have to care; maybe even love enough to give the difficult feedback. If you don’t then it is all about you, and not the person you care about. Leaders muster the courage because they care.
I think my main “accountability partner” is probably my wife 🙂
Michael- I couldn’t agree with you more. We talk all the time about how sometimes caring about someone means having that difficult/developmental conversation with them. It might not be easy in the moment but it strengthens the relationship and helps ignite that person’s potential. And like you said- it does take courage!
I am sure your wife is more than happy to hold you accountable! 😉 Thanks for your comment and thank you for all the teaching you provide us through your blog. I truly enjoy learning from you!
Thanks Danielle 🙂