“You can have no better friend than a well-trained mind- and no worse enemy than an untrained mind.” –Buddha
Does anyone else out there have wicked “self-talk?”
A few months ago I was texting back and forth with my other half when I decided to ask him what I deemed to be a pretty serious relationship question. When he did not respond, I went ballistic (to be polite). What started as a single question via text ended up being a twenty text argument I had with myself. Admittedly, text messaging was not the best way to start the conversation. Classic blunder? Totally. But still, how could he just not answer? Does he not feel the same way I do? What did I miss here? Is he a jerk? What is he trying to tell me about our relationship by not answering me? AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH!? As I said, ballistic. About thirty minutes later, he called to let me know that while he was at the vet with our dog, his cell phone died. At that point it occurred to me: I had completely manifested all the awful thoughts I was having. OH. And of course, in our brief phone call, he was beyond sweet, sweeping all my self-created fears around the question right under the rug. Yeah.
It is said that people talk to each other at approximately 200 words a minute. It is also said that people talk to themselves (self talk) at almost 400-500 words a minute. Wow. So, think about it this way. Let’s say you’re having a thought like, “I am not good enough.” That’s like driving down the road with two or three of your best friends in a car telling you over and over again that “you aren’t good enough.” I imagine that can get a little overwhelming (or in my case, cause me to go ballistic).
Plato says, “be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” Yes, be kind to others. It is such a beautiful thing. At Luck Companies, we believe very much in Plato’s quote and refer to it often as extending grace, an ethic of kindness. We also ask our associates to not only extend that kindness to others but also back to themselves. We encourage them to calm their minds, quiet that self-talk down, and give themselves a break. After all, at the end of the day we are all perfectly imperfect human beings.
So now I ask you, when is the last time you gave yourself a break? Is your mind your best friend?